As Muslim parents, we should always look for ways to instil kindness in slam for kids. But let us be honest–in the rush of our daily lives–it’s not always going as easy as we may intend. But, if there is one thing I believe about kindness, it is that it can be taught!
So now, how can we make kindness a natural part of our kids’ routine?
The most fundamental aspect of teaching kindness in Islam for kids and encouraging it in their everyday acts is teaching them to be kind to their parents and their siblings.
In Islam, kindness to parents is given a lot of importance, mashallah. It is mentioned in the Quran as well as in numerous Hadiths.
Therefore, learning about kindness through an Islamic lens is very important. Islam places a high value on expressing kindness as Muslims.
Here are some everyday tips I use to encourage kindness in my kids, perhaps you might find it helpful for you too.
1. Lead by Setting Your Own Example
“Indeed among the believers with the most complete faith is the one who is the best in conduct and the most kind to his family.”
(Sunan At-Tirmidhi)
Children learn by example, so be kind and reflect on what you want to see in your child. Teach your child that kindness can be found in the smallest of acts, such as saying something nice to someone.
Also, giving salaam to neighbors and passersby, helping Daddy to wash his car, or helping Mommy in the kitchen can all go a long way in teaching kindness to children.
2. Use Stories and Books to Teach Your Kids
“Read, in the name of your Lord who created, created man from a clot. Read, for your Lord is most generous, who teaches by means of the pen, teaches man what they know not.”
[Al-Alaq: 1-5]
Make reading a part of their bedtime routine. This worked like magic with my own kids. It didn’t only foster their love for reading but also reinforced the day’s lessons on kindness.
For this, storytelling time that promotes the importance of kindness is very crucial. This is why in our book, Being Kind to Mummy, my friend Hikmot and I provided subtly Islamic engaging lessons that reinforce the importance of kindness for our children in their everyday lives.
3. Praise and Reward Your Kids for Their Acts of Kindness
Anyone who acts rightly, male or female, being a believer, We will give them a good life and recompense them according to the best of what they did.
(Surat an-Nahl, 97)
It is important that you acknowledge, praise and reward each act of kindness. Positive reinforcement encourages children to continue behaving kindly.
You can also design a ‘kindness chart’ to visually track and encourage their efforts.
Or even better, you can download and print our free checklist of daily kind acts kids can observe. We have put this together to help encourage kids’ daily acts of kindness.
4. Encourage Small Acts of Kindness
Allah is Kind and loves kindness, and He rewards for kindness in a way that He does not reward for harshness.”
(Musnad Ahmed)
Encouraging even the smallest of kind acts can go a long way in.
You can start by encouraging simple acts like sharing toys, helping siblings, or expressing gratitude. These small actions can build a foundation for a lifetime of kindness.
3. Discuss and Reflect on Acts of Kindness
Whoever guides someone to goodness will have a reward like one who did it.“
(Narrated by Imam Abu Dawud)
After reading a story or witnessing an act of kindness, take time to discuss it with your child.
Ask them how it made them feel and what they learned.
Three questions I like to ask are:
- How do you think the person who received the kindness felt?
- Why is it good to be kind every day?
- Can you tell me about a time when someone was kind to you?
This moment of reflection reinforces the lesson they learnt from the stories. It is also a good bonding opportunity with your child and encourages them to consider kindness in their own actions.
6. Demonstrate Patience to Your Children
“Beware! Whoever is cruel and harsh to a child, Allah will be harsh upon him.”
(Prophet Muhammad, pbuh)
When we are emotionally hurt or spoken to harshly, it affects our mood and makes us more likely to react in the same way (or worse). We have all been there!
It takes genuine strength to let go and replace evil with good.
The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) was very gentle when correcting his companions or others, and he would take care to ensure that he did not degrade anyone in any way, particularly in public.
He set an example of patience, and as parents, we need to follow suit to help our kids develop the same virtue.
7. Creating a Kindness Jar
“Every act of kindness is charity.”
Sahih Al Bukhari
Build a ‘kindness jar’ where each act of kindness earns a token.
Whenever your child shows kindness to someone–whether it’s sharing a toy, helping with a chore, or simply listening to someone who needs a friend–they earn a token.
How to Create a Kindness Jar
You can read the full guide for creating a kindness jar here. Meanwhile, here’s a quick guide you can follow.
- Get a simple, reasonably-sized glass jar.
- You can use small stones, beads, or even marbles as tokens.
- Decorate the jar together with your child and explain to them the concept of kindness, and how it can positively impact others and themselves.
- Once the jar is full, reward your child with a special treat or activity. This could be a fun outing, a special privilege, or a small gift.
By encouraging kindness and recognising good deeds, you can help your child develop empathy and recognise the importance of kindness.
Wrapping Up
So friends, you see, teaching kindness to children in Islam is vital to their upbringing and your responsibility as parents. But it is also important to keep in mind that teaching kindness to children isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress!
Some days will be easier than others, and that’s okay. The key is consistency and leading by example.
Want to Kickstart Your Family’s Kindness Journey?
Download our Free Printable Checklist of Daily Kind Acts for more ideas kids can try at home. And parents, don’t forget to check out Being Kind to Mummy – it’s a wonderful resource for sparking conversations about kindness with your little ones.
